Morrissey appeared on The Colbert Report this week and had the piss taken out of him by Stephen Colbert.
Colbert teased Morrissey about a Smiths reunion, the Royal Family and meat.
On The Smiths:
Colbert: “It is my job as a journalist to find out why you won’t get back together with Johnny Marr. You guys could cash in huge”.
Morrissey: Not everybody is a fat old slag.
Colbert: Why are you so militant on not only eating meat but not seeing meat.
Morrissey: Because animals are nicer than humans. They are conscious beings.
Colbert: What about animals that eat other animals. Can I eat a lion? What about an animal that is already dead like a cow that has been sentenced to death for murder? Or a pig that commits suicide from listening to too many of your songs?
Morrissey: You shouldn’t laugh at that.
Colbert: I know a lamb that’s a fucking asshole.
On the Royal Family:
Colbert: Did you enjoy the Queens jubilee. It was such a lovely celebration.
Morrissey: A celebration of what?
Colbert: 60 years of majesty.
Morrissey: 60 years of dictatorship.